at what age can my child choose to stop seeing her father in ny
Dara Isaacson
As a family lawyer, one of the nearly mutual questions that I get asked past my clients is what their obligations are when their child or children practice not want to spend time with the other parent when the parents have separated. This is particularly concerning for parents when there are Court Orders in identify which provide for the child to spend time with the parents.
When faced with these problems ane of the first questions that I ask is, what indicates to y'all that child X (let's call him Lachlan for the purposes of this hypothetical) doesn't want to get? The responses that I get run the gamut of 'Lachlan screams and cries and says he doesn't want to go'; 'when information technology is time for handover Lachlan runs into his room and locks the door'; 'when Lachlan returns from the visit he says that he never wants to come across her/him again'.
Plain, this is ane of the most distressing things that separated parents tin go through, and then they demand good sound advice, both from a legal and practical point of view. And in truth, the answer is not always straightforward.
This verbal issue arose in the recently decided case ofCartland & Cartland.This was a case where a single Gauge (Judge Terry) of the Federal Circuit Court, was asked to consider whether a mother had contravened Court Orders whereby the Orders provided that the children were to spend time with the father. On each occasion, the mother brought the children (aged 11 and 12) to the place of handover equally stipulated in the Court Orders, but sat silently past as the children, from the backseat of her car with the window rolled downward, told the father that they did not want to spend time with him. On each occasion that this occurred the mother drove off with the children and the visit with the father did not go ahead. The father sought an guild from the Court that the mother was in contravention of the Court Orders.
It is not considered a contravention of Courtroom Orders if the party who is declared to take contravened has a reasonable excuse for failing to comply with the Courtroom Orders. In the case of the female parent argued that she had complied with her obligations pursuant to the Court Orders by bringing the children to the handover place, however the children expressed that they did non desire to go spend time with their male parent, therefore she had a reasonable excuse for the visit not going alee as per the Courtroom Orders. She reasoned that after all she couldn't force the children to get with their father against their wishes, right?
The Courtroom was quite critical of the mother's behaviour. Information technology constitute that the mother's behaviour was sending the message to the children that it was fine for them to remain in the car and refuse to become with the male parent. In order not to be in breach of the Court orders it was incumbent upon the mother to make a reasonable effort and take positive steps to bring about some change in the attitude and wishes of the children.
Of form the circumstances of every instance are different and factors such equally the children's age and maturity level; history of the proceedings; history of family violence etc are all relevant to whether or non a person volition be constitute to accept contravened orders that provide for ane parent to spend fourth dimension with the child in circumstances where that person is bringing the kid to handover but doing nothing more to facilitate the visit going alee.
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However, every bit a rule of thumb for parents in this situation who want to know if they could be found to exist in alienation of Courtroom Orders without a reasonable alibi, the following may serve as a guide for what they need to do:
- You do accept to physically take the child to the identify of handover as ordered by the Court.
- Information technology is not enough to only have the child to handover. If the child says they do not want to go, you have a positive obligation to encourage the child to spend time with the other parent. Such encouragement can have the class of:
- saying to the kid that they will have fun with the other parent earlier they get;
- Sending the message (both by your trunk linguistic communication and the things you say) that y'all are supportive of the child spending time with the other parent;
- At the end of the visit, talking with the child well-nigh what the child did with the other parent and raising positive points nigh that experience. (eastward.g. 'you lot went to the zoo with Dad? That's great! What animals did you run into?')
- Item 1 and 2 need to be done on a regular basis. Non just as a one-off.
After implementing these strategies on a few occasions, hopefully, your kid will exist more willing to spend time with the other parent. That will certainly make things easier for the kid and on yous as their parent! Notwithstanding, if after taking these steps you lot are still facing a child who adamantly does not desire to spend time with the other parent and that contact does not go alee, at least you will likely be better placed to contend that you lot had a reasonable alibi for contravening the Court Orders, than would exist the case if you were the mother in the case that we considered above who did naught more drive the children to the handover place and sit silently as they expressed their wish not to get with their male parent.
Of class, this blog comes with a disclaimer, if you believe that your kid's rubber and well being are at risk past spending time with the other parent, even when there are Court Orders in identify then in the starting time instance you demand to seek legal advice about what your options are. If this is an consequence that you are facing we recommend making an appointment with a lawyer correct abroad.
Dara Isaacson is a Melbourne based Family Lawyer.
This article has been republished with permission.
IMAGE COURTESY OF FRANCISCO OSORIO FLICKR CC
Source: https://www.csmc.org.au/2015/07/my-child-doesnt-want-to-go-to-visitation-with-the-other-parent-do-i-have-to-force-him/
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